When Your Dog Can't Settle at a Cafe: Signs to Read and Mat Practice

You took your dog to a dog-friendly cafe, but it kept standing up and sitting down and just would not rest at your feet. Does that sound familiar?

Restlessness does not always mean a lack of training. This article covers what may be behind restlessness, how to read the body language that shows your dog's feelings, how to practice mat time at home, and what to do when your dog fidgets at a cafe. Whether you are about to bring a dog home or live with a senior dog, try what you can at a pace that suits your dog's health.

Not being used to the place yet is one reason dogs get restless at cafes

Dogs can be restless for many reasons, and health can play a part. Another is not yet being used to the sounds, people and other dogs of an unfamiliar place. Getting a dog used to such stimuli is called socialization, and the Hiroshima Prefectural Animal Welfare Center says it needs to continue into adulthood. The center explains that what matters is that your dog comes away feeling new things were fun and safe.

Read the signs of restlessness at a cafe

Mild to moderate signs of stress include turning the head away and licking the lips. Based on sources including the American Kennel Club (AKC), the table below lists the main signals and what you can do at the cafe.

Health problems can also lie behind these signs. If your dog seems different from usual, end the visit and talk to a veterinarian. The AKC also says it is important not to judge your dog's feelings from a single behavior, and to look at the whole picture.

Practice settling on a mat at home

To help your dog settle at your feet in a cafe, it's useful to teach a resting spot at home first. The AKC describes practicing with a towel or small blanket that marks where your dog should settle, then putting it under your table at the restaurant.

A portable mat makes it easier to use the same cue away from home. If your dog cannot lie down on cue yet, start by practicing that. Here are the key points of the steps the AKC describes.

1. Show your dog the mat and praise any interest in it, such as sniffing or stepping on it. Place the reward on the mat
2. Build up gradually, for example praising your dog for approaching, then for putting its front paws on the mat, until all four are on it
3. Praise your dog for lying down on the mat
4. Gradually wait longer before praising
5. Then add distance (sending your dog to the mat from farther away) and distractions (having it lie down with distractions around). Make only one thing harder at a time
6. Practice in other rooms of the house. Once that goes well, try it away from home with a portable mat
7. Add a cue word such as "mat" only once your dog can do it from a distance and with distractions around

If your dog is struggling, you may have moved ahead too fast. Go back one step. The Tokyo seminar handout also recommends interacting with your dog and praising it often while it is quiet and calm.

Try a cafe at a quiet time, with your dog at your feet

For your first try at a cafe, the AKC recommends choosing a time when it is less crowded. With fewer distractions, it is also easier to judge whether your dog needs more training. Keep the first visits short and build up calm experiences (our suggestion).

However, for dogs that are reactive, wary or stressed around people or other animals, the AKC recommends not taking them out to eat and using takeout or delivery instead. If this sounds like your dog, skip cafes for now and keep practicing at home.

Keep your dog under your table or close by, so it does not block aisles or bother staff and other guests. On-leash greetings with other dogs are also best avoided while you are at the cafe, according to the AKC. If the place has its own rules, follow them.

A seat with little noise and foot traffic, and room for a mat at your feet, makes it easier to repeat what you practiced at home. When you browse places with terrace seating or dog cafes (cafes designed for visiting with your own dog), also read the conditions for dogs if the page lists them. Seating and conditions vary, so check the latest details with the cafe directly.

If your dog gets restless, skip the scolding; it's fine to leave

At a restaurant, the AKC says praising your dog for staying calm is better than scolding. The RSPCA, a British animal welfare charity, also urges owners not to shout at or punish their dogs, explaining that dogs are more likely to behave badly when they are scared or suffering.

Dogs also need to be able to avoid things that scare them. When your dog starts to fidget, try small adjustments like these (our suggestion). If you see strong stress signals, though, skip them and leave, even if it is earlier than planned.

• Praise the moment your dog is quiet
• Reposition so your dog can't see what is bothering it as easily
• Step outside for a short walk

Start tonight, and try a cafe on a later outing

Starting tonight, put your dog's favorite towel on the floor and praise your dog when it gets on it. Once your dog can lie down and wait on it away from home and with distractions around, visit a cafe at a quiet time on your next outing. The only goal is to lay that towel at your feet.

You can test how well you read dog signals with the quiz Reading Your Dog's Signals: Practice, and find your own consideration style at cafes with the self-check Your Dining-Out Consideration Style. More articles are collected in our column list.